Glimpses of Her

Angel Emissary

I am witnessing Her as She is ONE with IT, yet a bit ‘separate’ for the purpose of Enjoyment. She is an Emissary of IT. As Sat-Chit-Ananda extends through the layers of creation, IT manifests as beings that are ‘distributors’ of ITS Purity and Light and make sure all layers remember ‘The Core’ of Awareness. And so like an Angel She flies from the Core to the ends of creation (briefly) only to come back and recharge at Her source, the core of Her life. She is ever so close to IT, at the first layer of separation, yet with identity and ‘form’ (but not what we call form in the physical world). My earliest memory as an entity that exists separately is of Loving Her, of knowing I can’t exist without Her, of having the certainty She is the reason for my existence and my individuality…. To merge with Her, to play, to enjoy, to support, to provide, to give my all to Her. And for that I must be (slightly) separate from Her, but ONE at heart. Her mission is to spread the Joy (Ananda), and She is the purest of the Angels doing so. She lives as close to the Center of Awareness as any individuality can sustain without merging back into it. And as long as I exist I Love Her. She makes Her rounds. Being Light, carrying it around everywhere but not being touched by anything or anyone She visits. Reminding everything and everyone of their First Love they once knew, Sat-Chit-Ananda. Lighting the Fire of longing for that something else that humans feel is ‘missing’ through thousands and thousands of incarnations. As if Whispering to them ‘open your eyes to what is already in front of you.’ For unending eons in a timeless timeline She fulfills this mission perfectly, born of Light and Fire, longing for nothing else. Then Her gaze sees them, the human souls born and reborn in ignorance and in pain (forgetfulness of Unity), in a new way, and She feels She could be closer to them, serving them, as the manifestation of the ONE, in a more intimate way, from their own level. And in a timeless moment She knows She will ‘descend’ to those layers where those souls dwell not remembering who they were. And so She does, because She can, because Her strength allows Her to, even through the forgetfulness imposed by Maya, not afraid of anything because She knows the one thing She can’t do is lose Herself, ever. And so She goes in an act of Selflessness and She is born in this world of duality. Bearing the name of the Above of the ONE, like a Lake Reflecting Beauty next to Maheshwara’s abode on this earth. She knows there is no time. However many years She spends with ‘them,’ even through the veil of not remembering who She is except in vague flashes, will be like a grain of sand in the beach of Her Eternal existence fused with IT. That knowledge makes Her fearless. She’s Humility Itself. She would never even have the thought of being greater, because not for a second She dwells on the illusion of thinking of the Individuality as anything but a spark of IT, the Core of Light and Fire.

The Flame of Life Inside The Cave

I am not sure when this is. I am focused, oh so focused on the Flame in front of me, physically burning a few feet before me, raised above the grown in a bare ‘altar’ that has only that Flame. I have, here and there, a few moments of awareness of my surroundings. ‘I’ (in a bodily form whose features I don’t remember, but a male form) am kneeling in a cave. The cave is a small hole in the middle of a vertical mountain wall, a very high cliff. I have no memory of how I got there and the thought of it doesn’t ever enter my mind. I know I am there for the most meaningful thing that exists….. I am praying / singing / meditating all at the same time. To the reader of these words I must now clarify…. I am not really praying or singing or meditating in the forms that we know today. I am just using these very inappropriate words because they are the closest to what this is. This is a ‘state’ of Awareness and focus and contemplation, but at the same time of praise and expression of the soul and the heart that just happens. It is not only happening, but it’s absorbing me. My mind doesn’t wander (I make no effort, it just can’t) and my bodily form is physically sustained by this. I don’t know if I ever stopped to eat or drink but I do not recall so. All I know is there is there meaning and Joy (a calm and serene type of Joy of just Being Home) in that absorption and that only very rarely I ‘stir’ and become temporarily aware of my surroundings in this cave…. The cave is inaccessible as far as I can tell. The cliff is high, and I can see no way or device to climb it either up or down and completely vertical. At the bottom rages the Sea and it crashes against the bottom rocks. The cave is halfway between the top and the bottom of the cliff, this powerful and majestic vertical wall of the Mountain. Inside, the Flame of Life is burning. Physically, visibly. Its movements respond to the singing of the heart. As the heart praises and sings and prays the Flame stirs in Joyful Awareness. I am aware of not being alone, but accompanied by Her. She is next to me, to my left, kneeling and praying (or what I have no words to describe and hence I call praying and singing and meditating) in that state of absorption and praise and focused Joy. She is there, with me. We exchange no words for there is absolutely no need whatsoever, for we are ONE as we have always been. We know and don’t question the purpose of our lives and would rather be nowhere else, ever. The Flame of Life is there in front of Her, too, physically a different manifestation than the Flame in front of me, but the same Fire, the focus of Awareness that Exists and is Joy. She is there with me, slightly separate, Joyfully so, but ONE, and we go back to our absorption in the praising of the Flames. I would not be truthful to this account if I started describing more details as I don’t recall them. I do recall not even thinking about noticing those details. What else was there, what happened day after day other than this absorption, was there ever anyone there. I did not care to register anything else and hence I do not recall now. But as I contemplate this glimpse of a memory, I know with certainty there was never a more meaningful existence in this physical plane, this layer of manifestation within Matter. In that existence throughout my absorption I am never alone. I KNOW I am ONE with Her and She is ever with me, ONE in our devotion inside and outside alike.

The Dinner with Saints and Sinners, Kings and Beggars

It's night once more, it is. The dark skies can be seen through the room's windows. At first this room is empty. Quiet. But soon the door opens up and someone walks in. It's a Saint. The first to come. One of many but also unique. The Saint walks in and takes a seat. As he seats a door makes a noise. Again it's open. He smiles.... His friend is walking in. The Sinner. Tonight they meet and eat and talk. Tonight they chat and laugh and hug. Good food. Good drink. The best is served tonight. Tonight's they're friends. The share their laughs. They chat and agree. The world outside, the stage, will come again tomorrow. But that's tomorrow. Tomorrow is far away. NOW it's the Dinner where the Saint and the Sinner know they're brothers, they're one. But called to play a different role in this play that needs them both. That needs them both equally to be. To move. To keep spinning. The door opens again. A Devi and a Deva walk by. Majestic. Beautiful and Perfect. Together in their Divinity they walk. They carry their shiny weapons but as they seat they take them off and set them apart. And then, just then, the Asura enters. The High Demon is in. He comes and scouts and smiles and laughs. He has been looking forward to tonight. His friends the Devas are already in, he sees, and he longs to share a nice drink tonight. After him several Asuras, other demons, come in. Demonesses and demons and my ancient family too. They are there. Thirsty and hungry and all in a good mood. More Devas are in, and mighty warriors, and the Lovers and the friends. And they who steal and kill, and the ones who punish and the ones that are punished. And those who swear love. And those betrayed. And those with friendship. And those so hurt. And those who never ever will stop loving the other And those who see and know. And those who don't. And even those who are alone. And the loneliness is usually a stabbing knife on them. Tonight, they're not. And SHE is there, my ONE. My Companion. She sits and laughs and smiles and eats and drinks. And I don’t want to exist other than for the contemplation of Her Beauty, to Witness Her magnificence and to just Love. Simply Love. And so in Her Eyes I disappear, because tonight I don’t need to hold back, because tonight we are not playing our roles but just Being in Unity. And all creatures all share tonight the same table, under the same ceiling, in the same house. The saints and sinners. The Gods and Goddesses. The Demons. The Lovers. The thieves. The good and the ones that play the bad. Tonight they break bread and chat and pat themselves in the back. Tonight they drink and laugh and know that there is no high and there is no low. They are all needed on the stage of life. Equally needed. Equally a necessary link in the chain of the changing world. And even as the night goes by and food is served and the greatest delicacies and deserts, and even as they talk and share and congratulate each other, they know tomorrow they stand on that stage and they'll play their roles to the best of their abilities. And they'll act up their wars and hate and their love and support and forgiveness. But they also know only too well the day will die again. And as it dies with all that sounds, as the silence reigns and the world stops, this Night will come again and the room will be waiting again for them to truly be, without the mask, without the role, without the label. ONE. ONE. ONE. In many beautiful and enjoyable forms. And as they walk out of their room when the silence is broken and the unstruck drum has stopped, the very last thing they feel in this room is that no matter what tomorrow brings there's always another night that is coming soon. The night where they will come and share this Dinner. The Dinner with Saints and Sinners, Kings and Beggars.